some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize