end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
