i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
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