you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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