So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
