At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
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