i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
i think i just lost a toe
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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