I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
