he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize