She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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