I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
