Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
