singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
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