I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
