Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
