Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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