I will die if light touches me.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
