But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
