yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
