i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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