I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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