Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
