wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
