See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
