so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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