she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
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