You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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