all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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