You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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