Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
