Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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