did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
