we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
