I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
