The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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