party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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