shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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