dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Panties = found
Randomize
