Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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