i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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