I think I just saw someone hide a body.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize