are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
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