Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
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