He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize