Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
