I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize