I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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