I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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