Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
