Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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