if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
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Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
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Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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