I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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