either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
