it glows. i had to have it.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
