Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
