Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I love you.
Bad choice
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
