Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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