you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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