im drinking this country out of the recession.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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