You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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