I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
