This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
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