Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
my liver is dry heaving
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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