So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
