Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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