Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
