I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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